October 6, 2017
In 2017 I start pole dancing and filming everything in the proces of becoming a national athlete. I set off from scratch to become a semi pro in a fixed time frame and enter the Dutch Nationals in June 2018. In that same year I film therapy meet-ups and conversations with my mom and dad. In all these sessions we deal with my fear of love, intimacy and men and how I believe my upbringing plays a big part in this.
The film itself shows what it means to seek love while being equally afraid of it and how I try to connect with my mom to gain emotional ease. I never spoke with my parents about stuff that really hurts me, as growing up we tried avoiding these type of matters as much as possible.
Both the pole dancing as well as my personal search are captured on video over a period of one year. It’s my first film which will hopefully be finished at the end of 2019. This article in BN DeStem is written (in Dutch) at the start of the project and speaks about where it all started: my series of self portraits Mannen met potentie, how the love theme turned into a documentary and what my main drive is to dive deeper into the subject.